Can we talk about

hot flashes? Most of the time I like being a woman and wouldn't change it for anything. There are howevah days, like today, when I raise my fist and declare that being a woman is a curse. A curse I tell you. The calender may say that summah is over but it's not in my world. It's quite fortunate for me that my deck is very private because yesterday I felt the need to stand out there, half nekkid just to try and cool off. I also considered just climbing into the freezer for a nap but sadly, I don't fit in there!

I went back and forth between standing in front of the fireplace proclaiming "brrr, I have a chill" to running out to the deck screaming "my god it's so friggin hot I can't stand it" Poor Mr. Twench and the cat couldn't keep up so they opted to just sit on the couch and shake their heads. I can't say as I blame them.

To those of you who say "I think I've had a hot flash" trust me, if you have one there is no thinking about it, you know! You know how hot you get sitting on a beach in July when it's humid and the temperature is 98 degree's? Pfffftttt. That's a walk in the park people. Hot flashes are brazen that way, there is no mistaking one, it is all consuming and when it's happening, it's the only thing you can think about. The good news is that I now have an idea of what hell will be like. That's probably a good thing since I'm sure it's where I'll spend all of eternity. At least I shall be prepared.

Yes, I've heard about HRT and no, I won't be taking them anytime soon. For various medical reasons, I can't. Truth be told I'm not sure that I would even if it were an option. There are just too many unknowns and actual evidence that they may cause cancer. I do enough things that could cause cancer I don't need to bump up my odds!

Here's the other thing. This is natural. Yes, it's unpleasant at times and creates more laundry because well, when one has a hot flash one sweats. And yes, my brain is fuzzier than it once was, and I've gone from the "i've had two kids pooch" to the "menopot pooch" but again, it's NATURAL. My body is doing what it was designed to do. Just like we have seasons here in New England our bodies have seasons. We go from young girls, to young women capable of bearing children, to older women no longer capable of bearing children. I'm ok with that.

I've heard friends say "OMG i'm beginning the menopause" like it's a death sentence. They get sad and depressed and are all "I'm old and my life is ovah" Say what? Listen, I love my daughters and I can't imagine my life without them, but there is no way in hell I want another one at this point in my life. I have no desire to go through a pregnancy,labor and delivery, or god forbid a two year old having a tantrum. I'm done. D.O.N.E.

I don't understand the concept that my only purpose on earth is to bear children, and when that ability ceases my life ends. Are you kidding me? My life is just beginning! And guess what, while I may suffer with hot flashes, I no longer have to deal with cramps and headaches and spending the equivalent of second mortgage on tampons. I'm FREE!

I look forward to entering a new decade. When I was younger I thought 50 was old. No really, I did. 50 isn't old it's the new 40. Perhaps back in the day when the mid line life expectancy was 65, 50 was a little scary but no so much today. Hell, the average retirement age is 70 now. 50 is still considered being a youngin!

The only downside that I see is that it's possible I haven't been suffering PMS all these years, it's actually just my personality. We'll have to discuss that another time though, right now I have to go stick my head in the freezer.